lifewithoutcash

Well, today was one of those days. You know, the kind of day that makes you want to do things you could get arrested for? I managed to control myself, even while filling out an application for writing a regular column about cats.

OK. I love cats. Seriously, I do. I have two of them now, and one of my greatest ambitions is to end up in a decrepit old house FILLED with cats, so I can get on the evening news as the human interest story of the day. By that time, I will have no teeth and not a whole lot of brain cells left– but at least I’ll have all the cats that I want. Right now, my landlord will only let me have two. But they’re both well over fifteen pounds, so I guess that almost counts as three. Maybe two and a half?

So… back to this incredibly redundant application. I had to write –repeatedly, and in several different places on the application — why I am uniquely qualified for this column that probably six people will ever even bother to read. It was almost as if they were trying to catch me lying. You know, like “Ah-hah! You rotten poseur! You know nothing about cats! Admit it!“

Well, I stuck with the damn thing, and I even gave them a writing sample to prove I can actually put sentences together. Sentences about cats. For all six people who’ll end up needing my advice.

I suppose there are far worse things a person could do for money. Come to think of it, I have done worse things for money. (You all have very dirty minds. I’m actually talking about work that’s boring and/or pays badly.)

So… wish me luck. I have a feeling I’m going to need it.

Sorry, WC, but they weren’t looking for hamster advice. I would have been emailing you frantically if they were!

Time to feed the cats. At least they won’t make me write about them first.